At it again...

There's clearly a couple of followers out there that regularly check this blog only to be disappointed by the fact that I'm a blogger that doesn't blog...  I know you're there, I see you in my stats.  As a reward for your faithful persistence I thought I'd let you be the second to know (we told our immediate families already, so you can't be first) that we're adopting again!!!

We put our application in the mail on November 8, we've been accepted by the agency and we're now working through the mountain of forms and files to complete our home study and get things going full-speed forward.

Anticipating that people might have a few questions (and just for posterity's sake) I thought I should take a swipe at some FAQ.  I going to do it in the form of an interview whereby I interrogate myself about this adoption.  This works good for me because I'm an engineer which is another way to say I have no interpersonal skills.  That being the case, I've spent a lot of time over my life practicing conversations before they actually happen - so this is right up my alley.  Interview of self, commence...

Q: Adopting again.  Seriously?  Why?
A: Yeah.  Why not?

Q: Touche...
A: There are kids in this world that need a home and I have one.  There are kids that need a family and we are one.  There are kids that need to experience unconditional love and we have that.  Moreover we believe the Gospel of Christ is an adoption story whereby God pulled us out of a desperate situation and gave us a home, a family and unconditional love and our response to that ought to be to do the same for others (I'm not saying all Christians are called to adopt but I am saying that we are all called to love and care for those that this world discards and despises.)  We believe adoption is the most effective way to put the Gospel of Christ on display for the world to see.  Finally, we believe that building a family is more valuable than building wealth for retirement.  So, we're adopting again.

Q: So how many more times do you plan to adopt?
A: As many times as God allows.  Some people are concerned that if they have a big family each child won't get to do all the things they might otherwise get to do if they were part of a smaller family.  For instance, each child won't get as much individualized attention from the parents, they may not get to go on as many vacations, they may not get to participate in as many sports or activities simply because there are so many children.  They feel that is unfair to the children and that's fine for them, I'm not knocking that.  But, I don't have that concern.  I feel like providing a loving home for, and satisfying the basic needs of many children outweighs the ability to spoil less children.

Q: Please just answer the questions, I don't need a speech every time.  Now, where are you going to adopt from this time?
A: Sorry...  China, again.

Q: Why China, again?
A: Why not?  We loved China and the people we met there, we're familiar with the adoption process in China, the wait time is relatively short, the price is relatively low, we thought it might be nice for Joshua to have at least one other person in the family that looks like him, I want to practice my Chinese, I could go on...

Q: Are you going to adopt a girl this time?
A: We haven't decided.  We're still praying that God leads us to the child he's picked for us.  When it's time for us to be matched we'll just see what happens.

Q: Are you going to get another child that has a "special need" (can I say that)?
A: Perhaps.  We'll almost certainly get a child on the "waiting children" list which typically means they have some medical need, a sibling, are a little older, or there's some other reason that nobody else has adopted them.  And yes, it's OK to allude to Joshua's missing hand, we're all aware that it's not there.

Q: Last time you went to China you took Lora.  Do you plan to take any of the kids this time?
A: We plan to take all the kids.

Q: You're planning to take 3 kids on an international flight, manage them in a foreign country while taking on a 4th child and then take another international flight with 4 kids, one of which speaks no english and regards you as complete strangers?  Genius...
A: It might be 5 kids, we're trying to get approved to adopt 2 in one trip.  We plan to bring an adult traveling companion to help with the kids (so save your money...).  Otherwise, yes, you pretty much hit it on the head.

Q: Back up the orphan truck.  Two kids?
A: We are trying to get approved to adopt two at once.  We might only get one.  It all depends on who's available when it's time for us to match with a child.  We wanted to have as many options as possible when it was time for that.

Q: Then you'd have more Chinese kids then American kids...
A: Actually they'll all be US citizens and more importantly they'll all be Shanks'.

Q: *insert sound of crickets chirping here*
A: It's OK.

That's that.  If you have any questions I didn't address, just let me know and I'll work it into the list.

What a difference a year makes

For those not keeping score at home, December 3 (next Tuesday) marks 1 year since we first met/got Joshua.  That would be 1 year since "gotcha day" if you're also up-to-speed on your adoption lingo.  To be honest it seems like longer - there's been a lot of water under the bridge since then.

Over the last year Joshua has developed into the typical little brother which is to say he can't stand to be away from Lora even though she frequently hurts him, aggravates him, or gets him in trouble.  Also, he's a copy-cat but insists that he isn't.

He's also turned into a fairly typical 3 year old which means his frequent lying is not well thought out enough to escape detection, he throws a tantrum about every other day and he cries about something almost daily.  He's also young enough that he does not see a problem with wearing fairy wings and a tutu if that's what strikes him on a given day - I'm sure he'll grow out of that.

All that said he's our son and we wouldn't trade him for anything.  What a privilege it's been to have him for a year, looking forward to many more.

Joshua in the hotel on "Gotcha Day"

Pic of Lora and Joshua taken last week

First Time for Everything

It's been almost two months now since my last update.  It's been so long that I can hardly remember where I left off.  I suppose I could re-read my own posts but honestly, who has time for that?

So over the last few months, Joshua has experienced a lot of firsts so I thought I'd document a few:

• First haircut.  We were going to the wedding of a friend so it was time to tame the mane.

Raawwrrr, I'm a tiger.

Shazzam!!!

• First beignets.  While in New Orleans for the aforementioned wedding we took in the normal sites which included a mountain of powdered sugar with some deep-fried dough underneath.

Don't eat your hand, it's the only one you have.

• First cruise.  Before school let out and all the vacation spots fills up we decided, kinda last-minute, to take a cruise.
• First time to leave the country (and re-enter) as an American.  The cruise took us to Grand Cayman (which is a United Kingdom overseas territory) and to Cozumel (which is in Mexico for the geographically challenged).
• First interaction with an alien (not a real alien, but a cartoon likeness of an alien creature).

Which one is the alien?

• First time in a body of water deeper than the bathtub (small clarification for those that are both picky and in the know, Joshua has visited the Gulf of Mexico but he didn't actually get in the water more than 4" deep so I don't count that).  We spent a lot of time in the pool on our cruise but also in the ocean at both ports.  He loved it thoroughly.

SHARK!!!!!

• First entrepreneurial venture.

His Hand Broke Off

After easter egg hunting this morning (see previous post), we went to a birthday party and like most little-kid birthday parties there was an inflatable bounce house setup in the back yard.  Joshua and Lora both spent a large percentage of the time in the bounce house.  At some point in the party Heather was talking to another mother and that mother's little daughter runs up to her and says; "There's a little boy in there that broke his hand off."  I hope she was talking about Joshua, otherwise there's some little boy looking for his hand.

Easter Egg "Hunting"

This morning we took the kids to the neighborhood Easter egg hunt which gave me more than a few reasons to be cynical.

• First, they called it an Easter egg hunt but that's a pretty liberal use of the word "hunt".  The eggs were spread out over an open area of grass.  They were so dense you couldn't walk through it without accidentally stepping on a few eggs.  It was like 52-card pickup with a plastic poultry twist.  "Easter egg cleanup" would be a better description.
• Second, I still don't really understand what hiding and finding eggs has to do with Easter.  I've heard plenty of crafty connections between eggs and the new life offered by Christ.  Crafty, yes.  Easter eggs, I don't get it.
• Third, if you took the prizes that are in a thousand of these eggs and sold the lot at face value you might have enough money to buy an apple.  Despite this, some parents ravenously prod their kids along shouting at them to get more eggs.  JOHNNY, FOCUS, GET MORE EGGS!!!.  Makes sense when you think about it, who needs to have fun or let other kids get ahead when you can teach your children that they should hog as much as possible for themselves - little capitalists in the making.

 I was fascinated by one dynamic that I had never noticed before.  When they let they let kids go, about 10-20% of them pick up one egg, step over a hundred and then pick up a couple more, step over a bunch, pick up a couple, etc... and they move pretty rapidly across the field although they leave alot of eggs behind.  The remainder of the kids for a wave that washes across the field at a slower pace but they get every egg they pass over.  Eventually the waves from each side of the field meet in the middle and the field of eggs is no more.  This seemed a bit like a military-style invasion of the easter egg zone. The fast-movers are more like the tactical teams that go ahead and hit the high-value targets.  The remainder are like the regular army that marches through at a slower pace but fully establishes it's dominance in the process.  Both of our kids are the tactical type that moved quickly and selectively over the eggs.

All that being said, Joshua had no trouble understanding the rules of the game.  He was initially put off by the fact that the eggs were wet with dew.  He likes to keep his hands clean.  Once he got over that he did pretty good for himself.  We didn't even have to scream at him for not moving fast enough...

The 'piece de resistance' came after the egg hunting, Tamales from Taco Flores.  Joshua likes tamales.

Thoughts on Discpline

I've decided that the people at Joshua's orphanage are either the most effective disciplinarians on the planet or the worst.

When we got Joshua you could look at him crossways OR just gently say "no" and he would stop whatever he was doing, cower a bit, begin to whimper, and eventually cry a bit if one of us didn't start reassuring him that he was going to be OK.  If you looked at him crossways AND said "no" he would completely fall apart.  Time passed by...

After a while he toughened up a bit and he didn't mind so much the cross looks or hearing "no" but still if you gave him a stern "NO" he would stop in his tracks and start whimpering.  If you set him in the corner, on the stairs, or anything that was remotely like what we would call "time out", he would complete break down.  Time passed by...

Now he's much more like Lora.  You can say "No" all you want, scowl all you want and it doesn't phase him.  He clearly feels free to be rebellious and obstinate, resistive to our direction, and generally disrespectful.  He still doesn't like being sat down (time-out style) but mostly his protest is rebellious in nature, not like before.  I think this is generally what's known as "the terrible two's".

I have mixed emotions about this.  On the one hand, I think it's a good sign that Joshua is secure enough that he feels free to rebel and not fear that we're going to abandon him, beat him, or otherwise abuse him for expressing his own selfish interests.  On the other hand, it's really hard to discern the difference between when he's being a normal two year-old or when he's really being needy because he's gone without normal affection his whole life.  It's a hard thing to figure out.  Like my father, I err on the side of discipline.  Heather err's on the side of compassion - she's a mother.

So back to my original statement.  I think the folks at the orphanage did whatever they needed to do to satiate his selfishness and keep him happy.  This is essentially what I do when I work the church nursery on my one sunday a month.  I don't discipline those kids, I soothe them - whatever it takes to get them to be quiet for 1 hour.  Joshua was a male, who was missing a hand, with a hernia.  The orphanage workers told us to not let him cry very long or it would damage the hernia more.  I really think they just did whatever they needed to do to keep him happy all the time.  WHICH MEANS, he probably never hear the word "no" before he met us.

So Joshua, welcome to life as a Shanks.  Not only are you now guaranteed to live a life full of awkward social moments, poor physical conditioning, telling jokes that nobody else gets, and "vacations" that are really just trips to visit grandma - but we also believe in discipline.  You're the luckiest kid in the world....

No!!!

So in case you're wondering...

• After dropping poop samples off for the second time (and getting a receipt for the first time), we got the word that Joshua still had a parasite.  New kind of medicine, one MORE round of poop samples and now we have no more parasite.  Heather's tired of taking poop samples.
• Chinese lessons are going well.  The other family has dropped out b/c their daughter wasn't really paying attention.  So now our tutor plays with Joshua for about an hour and spends 20 minutes or so helping us learn new words and put the ones we do know to good use.  I'm more into it than Heather is, but that's life.
• English is going well too.  Joshua has understood everything we've said for some time now but now he's talking back to us in english more and more.  I'm trying to delay it as much as possible but it's only a matter of time before he becomes an english-speaker.  For now, he's still a chinese-speaker that speaks some english.
• He's more like a typical 2 year-old than Lora ever was.  Temper tantrums, "no" "no" "no", whining, crying, stomping, etc...  This is mostly a headache for Heather because I got to work all day.  Such is life.

Otherwise, everything is going fine, all things considered.

Sticker Time

For Valentine's Day Joshua got a card that had some stickers in it.  He loves stickers.  Fast forward to this Monday (the 18th).  Joshua wanted his stickers so Heather put one on his arm.  He wanted the rest so he put them all on his arms, as you can see.

As usual, he's not content to just let them be so he takes them off and puts them back on.  See pic #2.

Later, he went outside to play.  While outside he was outside he apparently decided he was done with his stickers so he took them all off and put them on one of the patio chairs.  When he wanted to come inside Heather noticed that our chair was now covered in stickers and she told Joshua that he couldn't come in until he got all his stickers off of the chair.  He definitely got them off the chair...BRILLIANT!

Land of the Free

Got an envelope in the mail today from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration service.  Apparently they have found Joshua's paperwork to be in order and have declared him a real-deal US citizen.

So for the next 4+ years Joshua will actually be a dual citizen of both the USA and China (his Chinese passport expires 5 years after the date-of-issue).  Good for him.

So this got me thinking a little bit.  I work with some people that are in the USA as refugees essentially.  They came here seeking political asylum because it was no longer safe for them to continue living in their home country.  They came to the US approximately 11 years ago and have yet to get their US citizenship for two reasons (that I'm aware of):

1. It's a very expensive process.
2. It's a very time-consuming process.  If you try to save money by doing most of the paperwork yourself, it'll take you even longer.

In a way, this makes me feel almost a little guilty that Joshua got his citizenship so effortlessly (for him) when others have to struggle so much to become a legitimate citizen of the USA.  Especially when there are so many people the enter our country and reside here illegally.

All that aside, it's nice to know that immigration has done their part and our son is a citizen of the same country as us...

What's Eating You?

So after all the drama about loosing the poop sample, then collecting another one, and then insisting that they give us a receipt for poop....it turns out that Joshua still has his parasite.  So I suppose on the persistence was worth it.  THAT means that we have to start on the "other" medicine.  The first medicine they gave him for the parasite wasn't that offensive, generally wasn't a problem.  We've been informed that this option has a higher chance of success but is a bit more difficult to take.  We'll see.  In the meantime, Joshua has a small colony of anaerobic flagellated protozoans living in his small intestines (here's a pic, not of his intestines but a stock photo of these things, duh).

So maybe this explains why he's so picky about eating even though he always wants to eat.  No wait, I think that's just because he's a 2 year-old.  Well maybe it explains why he's irritable and goes from happy to screaming his lungs out in a matter of seconds.  Not wait, I think that's just because he's 2.  Well maybe it explains why he's clingy and whiny and wants his mom all the time.  Nope, 2.

So I'm left kinda wondering which is harder to deal with: a colony of life-sucking organisms that reside inside your intestines, or a 2 year-old.

Happy New Year!

In case you didn't know, tomorrow is the Chinese New Year.  It's the year of the snake, year 4710 for China (depending on who you ask).  We celebrated by attending the New Year Festival at the Chinese Community Center here in Houston.  We even saw our Chinese tutor and our "classmates" there.

Not sure why, but I was a little surprised by how many non-Chinese activities and performances there were.  There was even a Mariachi band.  Matter of fact the Mariachi band even played and sang a few Chinese songs - who would've thunk it.?

We also met up with a lady I work with who is Chinese.  (She's the same person that set us up with a day of free guided tours in Beijing.)  She showed us around a bit and took us to lunch for some more-authentic-than-usual chinese food.  It was very nice to get to know her better and see some of her world a little.

The kids got too tired and got a little ridiculous but overall it was a good day.

Update on A Few Things

Just to update you on a few things...

Shriners
Last week we had an appointment at Shriners Hospital with one of the orthopedic Dr's regarding Joshua's circle-hand (that's what Lora calls his "other" hand.  The Dr. explained that Joshua's hand was absolutely normal down to the point where it just stopped developing.  Meaning, his arm, elbow, shoulder, etc... was all perfectly normal.  She also said that a prosthetic hand was going to be just a waste of time.  Pretty much all kids with a hand like Joshua refuse to use a prosthetic because it has no sensation, is clunky to them, and in the end doesn't offer any more dexterity than their stump does.  He'll learn to use his circle hand to do anything and everything.

So all that was a relief although it was what we were expecting to hear.  I was kinda exhausted after we met the Dr.  As my dad would say, she was wound tighter than an 8-day clock.  She spoke so very fast and I don't think she stopped to take a breath the whole time.

Neurologist
Today, Heather took Joshua to see a neurologists.  His initial brain scan results indicated the possibility of something amiss.  We had several people look at it before we finalized our plans to adopt him, nobody really knew what it was but we prayed about it and decided we wanted him regardless of what might actually be going on in his head.  When we arrived in China we found out that they had re-done the CT scan of his head and whatever it was they saw before wasn't there anymore.  We carried his CR scan film half-way around the world and today we finally got someone to look at it.

All is normal...

Receipt for Poop?
We were asked to collect another set of stool samples for Joshua to ensure the parasite has been taken care of.  Heather did that and had her parents drop it off at the lab.  The lab said they didn't have orders for the samples so Heather called the Dr., they faxed the orders over and we presumed everything was alright.  The lab called the Dr. and said they got the orders but didn't have the stool sample (the lady at the lab remembered receiving the sample from Heather's parents but didn't know what happened to it).  Our Dr. informed us that we needed to turn the sample in and Heather explained to her that her parents already turned it in.  The Dr. then asked Heather if the lab gave her a receipt for the stool sample.  A receipt for poop, do they do that..????

Flash forward.  We got another kit to collect the samples, Heather collected them, and turned in the sample to the lab today.  She asked the lady for a receipt for the poop and the lady said it wasn't necessary.  Long-story short, Heather refused to leave without a receipt for the poop, and she got it...

Chinese Lessons
We had two sessions with out Chinese tutor.  To my surprise we've been able to put together basic sentences and I now know alot of words and simple phrases that I can use with the kids around the house.  So far, I don't think Chinese is nearly as hard to learn as people make it seem.  We still have a long way to go though...

Attachment

For a child to develop normally it's imperative that they emotionally attach themselves to a caregiver.  Typically a child attaches to its parents quite naturally.  In the case of an adopted non-infant, one of the priorities of the new parents is to create an environment that helps the child attach to them.

For instance... Joshua was abandoned when he was approximately 2 months old - so he spent some time with some caregiver, more than likely his biological parents. He then lived in an orphanage for about 2 years where at least 4 different ladies cared for him.  No he lives with us.  You can understand that he might be a little confused about what it even means to have parents.

What's this all about....???

Joshua seemed to be bonding and attaching well with us so we've recently taken a few liberties.  For instance, at Lora's birthday party we let Joshua pretty much run free which means several people took the opportunity to hold him and/or feed him.  Didn't seem like a real big deal.  BUT TODAY.  Today we decided to try putting Joshua in the church nursery for the first time.  Heather stayed with him so that she could be there if he needed anything such as the bathroom.  Long story short, it appears he might not be as "attached" to us as we thought.  It seems we need to be a little more diligent about ensuring that Joshua doesn't get confused about who his parents are.

Sooooo, if you're one of the 6 people still reading this blog please don't be offended if I don't let you hold Joshua, or feed him, or really do much of anything for him.  It's not you, you're great.  My son just needs to understand that he has 2 parents, not 25 parents.

Chinese Tutors

So after a bit of looking around we've found a Chinese (mandarin) tutor.  Met her briefly tonight to discuss what our goals were and so she could meet the kids and better know how to teach them.  I think she'll work out good.  Joshua reacted well to her and chatted with her a bit in his native tongue which is good because I was getting worried about two things.

1. I was a little worried that he might not react well to someone speaking chinese to him.  Some families we know have reported that their children wanted nothing to do with people that spoke their native language to them.  Perhaps it reminded them of where they've come from.  The tutor spoke with Joshua quite a bit.  He was very responsive.
2. I was worried that he would start losing is chinese language skills very quickly if here never heard/used it on any kind of regular basis.  It was pretty obvious that he still understands and can speak chinese just fine.

Also, as it turns out, at least one other family is going to be learning mandarin with us.  They've adopted from China as well and Heather met them some time ago.  One day Heather was describing to them how we were looking for a tutor and they more or less said "we'd like to get in on that".  A third family has also expressed an interest in learning with us.  Altogether we make a regular class.

So, we start next week.  I'm excited.  It's should be interesting...


As a general update on other matters:

• Joshua is healing well from his surgery.  No problem and no pain.  Praise God for that!
• Joshua is getting comfortable enough with to throw temper tantrums and push our buttons.  This indicates that he feels very secure with us - he doesn't worry that throwing a fit will cause us to abandon him.  So that's encouraging even though it gets tiresome.

Post-Op Report

Joshua's surgeries went well although it took about 1.5 hours longer than they thought it would.  Apparently he had a lot of scar tissue inside from the first hernia repair.  Took them a while to sort it all out.

It took Joshua a while to wake up in the recovery room.  Once he did he was naturally thirsty and hungry.  The nurse gave him a popsicle, he ate three more.  Took about another hour for his SAT numbers to come up and stay where they belong and then we were out of there.  Here's a pic of him before he woke up.

The doctor said that for the next week or so it would look like a truck ran over Joshua's "stuff".  He was correct...  Thank goodness for drugs.  Probably still have a few rough days ahead as everything heals up.  It's kinda ironic because our Sunday School lesson this week covers Genesis 17.  At least Joshua had the benefit of anesthesia and a scalpel.

Snip Snip

It's surgery day.  As I write Joshua is in surgery getting his hernia repaired.  Although I don't enjoy having my child in surgery I'm also glad that he's finally getting this fixed.  It's a day I've been looking forward to since we first selected him to be ours.

While he's out they're also drawing some blood for more tests and giving him a little trim (you figure it out).

I'm a little curious if he'll notice the difference.  I hope not.  What a terrible introduction to being a Shanks: "Welcome home son, say goodbye to your jiblets".  Fortunately he's young enough that he's not likely to remember any of this...


The anesthesiologist asked us today if we want them to cut off his little fingerling nubbin (a skin tag on his non-hand that resembles the beginnings of a little finger).  **Mini panic. Wasn't prepared for that question.***  We said "no" even though we might eventually have it removed.  Waking up with that also missing might be a bit much for one day.

Here's a pic of Joshua in pre-op.

一个月后

Today marks one month since we first met Joshua face-to-face.  A lot has changed in a month, some has not.  Here's a recap.

What's basically the same...

• He still has a hernia.  We saw a surgeon at Texas Children's Hospital yesterday.  He agreed that Joshua definitely has a hernia (knew that, thanks), that it needs to be fixed, and that they clearly tried to fix it in China.  So this will be a re-do surgery which is slightly more complicated.  That's schedule for later this month, looking forward to getting all that tucked away.
• He is still missing his left hand.  Can't find it anywhere.
• He still speaks a mixture of actual chinese and gibberish chinese.  We've learned to understand a lot more of it but sometimes he just goes into a story and all I can say is "you got that right".  Typically 2 year-old, his thoughts exceed his vocabulary.
• We still don't have someone to speak chinese with him on regular basis.  I think we have a connection to a native speaker but he isn't back from vacation yet.  So, if you're out there and are a native Mandarin speaker (or know one) somewhere close to the NorthEast Beltway, let me know.
• He's still a food-hoarder although he's getting over it quickly.  Mealtime usually goes something like this:
• He asks for food A, we give it too him (presuming that food A is not junk, he loves his junk food).
• He asks for food B.
• We tell him to eat food A first and he refuses.
• We take food A away and give him food B - he gets upset.
• We give food A back and take food B away - he gets upset.
• We give him food B in addition to food A.  He holds food A close by while he eats food B.
• From this point forward he eats foods C thru X all the while holding on to food A.
• When he's finally finished eating everything else, we run out of food, or we cut him off, he then eats food A.

What's a little different...

• He understands a ton more english than he used to.  He now understands enough for us to tell him most of what we need him to know (stop, come here, go, no, yes, sit, stand, kiss, hug, etc...).
• His list of foods that he's willing to eat keeps expanding and expanding.  He's a good eater.
• He gets more and more willing to let other people get near him, touch him, speak to him, etc...  He loves other kids and love Lora.
• Up until about a day ago, he absolutely did not want to pee or poop in his pants.  In the last couple of days he's discovered that if he pees in his pull-up, it doesn't really make a mess or even make him wet.  ***Panic... All hands on deck.  We need him to continue thinking that wetting your pants is a terrible things to do.***  We returned fire with a switch from pull-ups to actual underwear.  He peed his pants once today and of course got very wet.  The rest of the day he was definitely letting us know when he needed to go to the bathroom.  Might've dodged a bullet.
• He's gotten a lot more stable on his feet and has gained a lot of confidence when it comes to negotiating the stairs, getting up and around in his bed, and just getting around in general.
• I'm back to work.  Feels kinda nice to be back in my routine although I'd rather be at home than at work.
• Found out a few weeks ago that he had an intestinal parasite.  Got some drugs and hopefully have that cleared up.

All in all this has been an interesting month.  Seems like we've had him longer but that's just how it is I suppose.

Just to close the loop on one other items... I mentioned earlier that the kids did most of the Christmas tree decorating and left the tree a little lop-sided.  We left it that way.  On Christmas morning Lora was reaching for a present and snagged her hair-bow on a branch and pulled the whole thing over.  Lost a few ornaments and destroyed the tree base.  Packed it all up that evening, first time I ever put the tree away on Christmas day.