Houston, we are GO for launch.

December 12

We started the day at midnight (which is technically when all days start), still up, working to get everything together.  Heather and I discussed just pulling an all-nighter but by 01:00 we were done.

Got up at 05:30 to get started on what I knew would be a long day.  Heather says "why are you getting up so early?"  I respond "what time were you planning to get up?"  "Six" she says.  Wow, way to sleep in.

The crisis-of-the-day came at 09:00.  Heather called Air China and tried to get our seats assigned so we could all sit together.  For the second time this week Air China made it very clear that our seats will not be assigned until we get to the airport.  Heather explained that we're traveling with children and we need to sit together.  The reply comes back over and over, "seats are assigned at the airport.  It's a full flight you should get here early."  Heather texts me about it and I brace myself for "panic mode"...  In a rare moment of clarity I was reminded of Philippians 4:6-7.  I pass this verse back to Heather and we pray about it.

"Lord, you called us to do this and up to this point you have made it happen.  We're trusting you to carry us through."

At that we pretty much let it go and went back to our day of last-minute errands and packing.

Around 10:30 one of Heather's girlfriends texts her and says "what can I do for you guys."  I grab the phone and respond "lunch".  By 11:30 we are eating the lunch she brought us.  While eating she says "so when are you leaving for China?"  She didn't even know...

At 18:00 (6:00 pm) we attend a Christmas dinner with our small group from church.  I really enjoy these people and frequently find myself wishing I knew them better than I already do.  We have to leave early to get the kids ready.  As we leave, the host says (paraphrased):

"We have a sign over our coat rack that says 'No matter where God leads you, His grace will see you through it."  The he prays for us.

We get to the airport in a surprisingly uneventful fashion.  While checking in I inquire about our seating arrangement and prepare myself for the ensuing battle to at least get every child seat with an adult.  The agent looks at me and says "Oh, yes.  You are all seated together.  It was arranged ahead of time."

Now it's 01:00 again and we just took off.  The kids are asleep as is Heather and Lauren.  I'm not gonna make it much longer either but I was just reflecting on the day.  It's been a long hard day but I'd do it all over again just to see God work the way He did today.

I think we have many long hard days ahead of us but I'm so excited to do it.  They are worth it.  He is worth it.

The weight of the waiting.

I feel like I'm drowning in anticipation.

Good People

When people hear about our adoption(s) they frequently say one of the following:

- You are really good people.
- What an amazing blessing for those kids.

I know they are excited about the adoption and I'm grateful for their support.  I usually thank them for their kind words, or nod in agreement, or whatever seems the most polite at the time. But on the inside I'm thinking "they don't get it". Sometimes I try to tell them but I rarely get the chance to explain myself.  They think I'm being pedantic or that I just can't take a compliment.  I am pedantic, and I do struggle with receiving compliments, but in this case I think they've just got it wrong.

You are Good People

They also say "you have a good heart", "you are wonderful for doing this", or I've even heard "you and Heather are awesome." However they say it they are declaring us to be "good" people because we are adopting.

I know me, I am NOT good. Heather knows me better than any of you do, she would agree that I am not good.  God knows me better than I do, He agrees that I am not good (Romans 3:10-18).  So for starters, if you have concluded that we are good people because we're doing a good thing, you are wrong. We are not good people.

 

What a Blessing for those Kids

They also say "those kids are so lucky" or "what a good thing for those kids." Either way the emphasis is clearly on the benefit to the children that adoption brings. It is beneficial for the children but of all the parties involved, they derive the least benefit.

For the kiddos, this will be a painful process that they will probably appreciate some day. For me, it's a legitimate miracle that happens right in front of my face. I get to watch God give these children new life. I see my children transformed by having a family for the first time ever, and experiencing unconditional love. I get to see them healed. Whats more, I don't just see it happen, I become a part of it. I experience God working through me to save lives. It incomprehensible.

 

What is the Truth?

Other adoptive parents almost never say to me "you are good people" or "what a blessing for the kids".  You know why?  They already know.

 

God is the one who is "good".  Any good thing we do is not a manifestation of our own goodness.  It's an outworking of God's goodness.  We have made a conscious decision/effort to surrender ourselves to the one true God.  This adoption was His idea and He's the one that's making it happen.  In almost every way, we are literally along for the ride.  The fact that God uses us to accomplish this, is part of the miracle of it all.

We gain more from this than the children do.  Everyone thinks this is about the kids.  They benefit, for sure, but God could rescue them in a million other ways if he wanted to.  He doesn't need us in order to save these children.  However, he chose us, he wants to use us to save them.  Why?  Because it grows us, it humbles us, is builds patience, perseverance, and trust, it tests and proves our faith, it's a way for God to reveal Himself to us.

But get this, we are still not the primary beneficiary of this adoption, God is.  God is saving these children so that they will glorify him.  God is working this miracle in our life so that we will glorify him.  God has exposed you to our adoption so that you will glorify him.  All of this is God intervening in people's lives, revealing himself, working miracles, etc... so that he will receive the praise, and honor, and glory.  He benefits more than any of us as long as we actually give him the praise he deserves.  Which is where this post comes in.

What's the Right Response
The best way to respond to our adoption, the way that best aligns with ultimate reality, the way that lets us know that you are happy and supportive, is to praise God.  You can say it, sing it, write it, draw it, pray it, or tweet it.  But if you want to praise someone because two children are getting a family, praise God.  If you want to highlight the goodness that is behind it all, declare the goodness of God.


"Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!  How unsearchable are His judgements and unfathomable His ways!  For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor?  Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to Him again?  For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things.  To Him be the glory forever.  Amen."  Romans 11:33-36

Double Down

We haven't been totally upfront (other than in person) about all the details of our adoption, namely, that we're adoption two children this time.  Two children at the same time.  Ponder that for a few seconds... 

Now that you know, I'd like to say a couple things.

First, the fact that we were approved to get two at once is a gracious blessing to us.  Many people that would like to get two at once are told "no" for various reasons.  Being turned down is heartache enough, having someone celebrate their approval when you were just turned down, that's hard.  For their sake we kept it to ourselves for a while.  I'm sure you understand.

Second, being approved to get two at once is absolutely an act of God's grace on us.  To be trusted with the life of these little ones is a tall order.  Even so, we felt God's call on our life to get two this trip so we went for it.  The way that He worked it out is nothing short of miraculous (stop me sometime and I'll tell you all about it).  We are so humbled by the opportunity to do this, but over-the-moon excited at the same time.

With that, I give you our daughter (the baby, not the grown woman).

You know she's a Shanks - she's got cake on her forehead.

 And here's our son.

Adding them to the current bunch yields this.

1 week from today we'll start replacing the papers with real children.

Plane Tickets....check

We've gotten our flights settled finally and now have a basic itenerary from our agency.  Here it is at a high level.

• Travel to China - Dec 12-14
• Get our daughter - Dec 15
• Get our son - Dec 22
• Travel home - Jan 1

In case you wondered, purchasing international, multi-destination flights for a group of 6+, 10 days prior to travel, when you're on a budget is an iterative process.  We were presented with many options, here are a few that didn't make the cut...

• 8-hr layover is Honululu = nice.  The 8hr flight to Honululu has no in-flight entertainmnet = fail.
• One option was to fly to China by going Houston-Minneapolis-LAX-Beijing-Nanjing.  No thanks.
• One option included a 3-hr flight on an Embraer 175.  This would require Lora and Joshua to sit by themselves, unattended.  Double fail.
• One option included us landing in Shanghai and "finding" a train to Nanjing, by ourselves.  If it was just Heather and I, maybe.  With the whole tribe, no.
• Overnight layover.  No.

All in all, I think we ended up with what we needed.  Now we gotta pack.

We're going to China!

We have finally navigated the seemingly endless gauntlet of appointments, checks (both the background kind and the financial kind), approvals, updates, forms, consults, phone calls, and waiting.  We're going to China!

It's been a supreme joy to watch God work through this process.  To see the way He has brought it all together in the perfect kind of timing has been joyful.  I suppose I could write eloquently about all the little miracles along the way and thus fill your heart with wonderment, I will instead provide you with some bulleted tidbits that will come across as disjointed and clunky - cause that's what I do.

• We will be in China for Christmas and New Years.  Lora and Joshua might win the "what did you do over the holidays" contest when they get back to school.
• We will get to spend Christmas with all of our children (including Sonia).  Who needs to open presents when you can hug your kiddos for the first time ever (or first time in a long time)?
• We finally get to meet Sonia's parents and grandma.  We'll have so much to talk about.  Unfortunately they don't speak English and we don't speak Chinese.  All that really means is that Sonia will have to serve as translator for stories about herself...
• Sonia and her family will get to witness first hand the culmination of our adoption.  What an opportunity to let them see the gospel played out right in front of their face, in a local context.  (You should pray about this.)
• Joshua will finally get to eat all the spicy noodles he wants.
• We will have a "travel nanny" (I don't know what else to call her.  Let's call her Lauren.)  This will further perpetuate the idea that Americans are rich beyond belief, we have a nanny.

I could go on like this for a long time but here's the point.  It's finally time.  I'm excited.

General Updates and Fundraising

Joshua

In case you're not counting, Joshua turned 4 this August.  He's becoming quite the big boy, is helpful, generally compliant, and loves his brother and sister.  People always ask about his english - he speaks english as well as any other 4 year-old.  That is to say, his sentence structure is a bit butchered and his pronunciation/annunciation is poor (although some of that could be because he's learning english from his dad who has a mid-western mushy mumble mouth).  All in all he's doing great.    Here's a picture of him on the day of his birthday party.  For comparison you can go back to some pics from when we picked him up, he's grown a lot...

Iron Man Joshua with his marshmallow pistol

Joshua also started Tae Kwon Do this fall (for those not up-to-speed on their martial arts, Tae Kwon Do is a Korean practice, not that it matters).  He loves it and he seems to be doing well.  He isn't a ninja yet but he's on his way (I know that Ninjas are Japanese, not Chinese or Korean.  It'll be OK, it was a joke anyway...).  

Current Adoption

Our dossier is headed to China, which means what.?  This means that all our paperwork has been sent around the USA and accepted, sent to the Chinese consulate and accepted, translated to Chinese, and is now headed to the China Center for Children's Welfare & Adoption (CCCWA).  In the adoption world, this is a significant milestone.  There's only about 54 more things that have to happen before we can travel to China and get our son.

Really, for now, most of what we do is:

• Pray.
• Wait impatiently.  The way this is playing out we'll probably travel Q1 2015.
• Stock-pile a ton of money so that when it's time to travel we can actually afford to do so.

With the third bullet in mind we've done a couple of things around fundraising to give others a way to help us adopt, if they want to.  The first is that we've purchased a suitcase for our son and anyone that donates to the adoptive effort (any amount) gets their name on the suitcase.  Our son will then have a record of all the people that helped bring him home.  The second is that we've applied for, and have been awarded a matching funds grant from LifeSong.  If you donate to the grant your donation gets doubled, it's tax-deductible for you, AND you'll get your name on the suitcase.  Who wouldn't want to do that..?

If you do want to donate, you can contact me at micah.j.shanks@gmail.com and I'll give you the details on how.

That's all for now.  Just trying to hold down the fort and prepare for the newest addition.

Here's the suitcase we got for our son, some names already on it...